She had no idea what to say. Like so many times before, she faced him to decend a peck on his cheek as the tips of her fingers lingered just a little bit longer at his jaw line. God, that jaw line. She could almost recall all of the time that she spent dreaming of the guy who has never failed to make her lose her mind.

Bewildered is a great way to put it. Confused, perplexed, lost. How do you dream of the eyes you love and look at them only to say goodbye? She did it to herself. Not because she wanted to. She had to.

Some things can’t be explained. The way the man on moon is sometimes the only facee she wants to see. Or how when she smell that cologne her stomach turns to knots while eagerly scanning the crowd. Serendipity. Why during a terrible anxiety attack the smell of an old book can calm her heart. Or what about why an old carved and stained piece of wood on a leather string is the last thing she touches each day to regain her balance in this spinning world.

She can’t explain any of her feelings or how things turned out how they did. But she can always explain why those eyes are in her dreams at night. Although she can’t go back, she knows that she will live out her days knowing she found the eyes that will always see more than her face.

The eyes that see her pain, fear and sorrow. They used to see through the staged strength. They stripped her of every dream for a fairytale that she was clinging to. The eyes that set her heart free. Those are the eyes that will always visit her at the right time. They will always be the sweetest dream. They will always leave her speechless.

On her tiptoe she does it. The kiss on the cheek, the sigh that silently says ‘don’t go, the small squeak in her throat as she holds back an earth shattering scream. And she walks. To the end of the story. Where she finally rests easy knowing his happiness is what mattered. A jawline that is no longer tense. Eyes that will again shimmer.


via Bewildered


Author: heidikibler

I love words, coffee, truth & you.

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